I have no idea if I will come back to this blog in the near or distant future, but I did want to post at least one more update. I started this blog a good 6 years ago as JD and I were preparing for our very first cycle in City X. We were young and scared and the first of our friends to even consider having children, let alone be told in no unconditional terms that there was no time to waste. We weren't even living in the same state.
And I have met so many friends through blogging. Wonderful internets friends who disappeared into the defunct blog section, friends who faded away just as google reader stopped updating, and a few friends who I have now met many times IRL and who will stay with me on this parenting adventure. Many blogs I still read weekly although my comments are very rare. And that support has been wonderful. The truth is that I mostly stopped blogging when I got nervous about my family finding the blog because despite all of my best intentions there is so much identifying information here. And that fear has not yet gone away.
And I was thinking about quite how lucky we are today as I yet again missed the HOV lane turn and got stuck in rush hour traffic on my way to an appointment. Because the truth is in my sleep-deprived state I couldn't quite remember if we were enough people in the car to take the HOV line, but the truth is that our car (a delightful 10-year old gas guzzling SUV which is impossible to parallel park and does not even fit a stroller) is always full. In six years we have gone from not being sure I would ever ovulate to a family of six. We have become the crazy infertiles who are so very lucky that I have been pregnant or nursing or both every single day of the past 6 years.
The fusspot is a happy healthy 5 year old about to enter kindergarten, the dumpling is a very petite but otherwise totally healthy 3 year old about to enter pre-K and Baby A and Baby B arrived this month. And despite all of my fears about the risks of a twin pregnancy, this pregnancy was my most uneventful one yet. Thanks to a very relaxed but confident doctor I carried the twins to 2 days shy of 40 weeks with a combined weight of well over 15 lbs. I even escape all odds and delivered vaginally despite having a baby who flipped breech in the 2 days before delivery.
Of course, it's always something and just like their older siblings these babies have declined to nurse for now so I am pumping every 2 hours and obsessing over how to get them back on the breast (and really, it is far more crucial than ever before because the fusspot and the dumpling are going crazy stuck in the apartment on a 1.5 hour leash for any excursions before I have to pump). But that is truly no different than the nursing problems we've encountered before.
And while I would be quite happy to grow our family again by some route, the ever- practical JD feels like our adorable basement rental and not-at-all-designed-for-four-carseats SUV are pretty good indications that we've stretched our finances to the responsible limit. And truly, how much can one family push their good luck? So that's the brief update for now. Before I even consider taking down this blog I want to save the posts for my children, and especially for my daughters should they face infertility. But of course not to share with them until they ask since I always felt like my medical problems hung over my head from adolescence on. I want them to know that even though our family looks like the picture of fertility from far away (and truly nothing will make you feel more like the poster child for the birth control we never needed than waddling slowly around the pool at 39 weeks pregnant with twins while your two preschoolers melt down on the sidewalk), the process of getting here forever changed how we think about our family.
And I have met so many friends through blogging. Wonderful internets friends who disappeared into the defunct blog section, friends who faded away just as google reader stopped updating, and a few friends who I have now met many times IRL and who will stay with me on this parenting adventure. Many blogs I still read weekly although my comments are very rare. And that support has been wonderful. The truth is that I mostly stopped blogging when I got nervous about my family finding the blog because despite all of my best intentions there is so much identifying information here. And that fear has not yet gone away.
And I was thinking about quite how lucky we are today as I yet again missed the HOV lane turn and got stuck in rush hour traffic on my way to an appointment. Because the truth is in my sleep-deprived state I couldn't quite remember if we were enough people in the car to take the HOV line, but the truth is that our car (a delightful 10-year old gas guzzling SUV which is impossible to parallel park and does not even fit a stroller) is always full. In six years we have gone from not being sure I would ever ovulate to a family of six. We have become the crazy infertiles who are so very lucky that I have been pregnant or nursing or both every single day of the past 6 years.
The fusspot is a happy healthy 5 year old about to enter kindergarten, the dumpling is a very petite but otherwise totally healthy 3 year old about to enter pre-K and Baby A and Baby B arrived this month. And despite all of my fears about the risks of a twin pregnancy, this pregnancy was my most uneventful one yet. Thanks to a very relaxed but confident doctor I carried the twins to 2 days shy of 40 weeks with a combined weight of well over 15 lbs. I even escape all odds and delivered vaginally despite having a baby who flipped breech in the 2 days before delivery.
Of course, it's always something and just like their older siblings these babies have declined to nurse for now so I am pumping every 2 hours and obsessing over how to get them back on the breast (and really, it is far more crucial than ever before because the fusspot and the dumpling are going crazy stuck in the apartment on a 1.5 hour leash for any excursions before I have to pump). But that is truly no different than the nursing problems we've encountered before.
And while I would be quite happy to grow our family again by some route, the ever- practical JD feels like our adorable basement rental and not-at-all-designed-for-four-carseats SUV are pretty good indications that we've stretched our finances to the responsible limit. And truly, how much can one family push their good luck? So that's the brief update for now. Before I even consider taking down this blog I want to save the posts for my children, and especially for my daughters should they face infertility. But of course not to share with them until they ask since I always felt like my medical problems hung over my head from adolescence on. I want them to know that even though our family looks like the picture of fertility from far away (and truly nothing will make you feel more like the poster child for the birth control we never needed than waddling slowly around the pool at 39 weeks pregnant with twins while your two preschoolers melt down on the sidewalk), the process of getting here forever changed how we think about our family.
